Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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