Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
