People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
