I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
