What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
