I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I think weed is turning my hair brown
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