And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Panties = found
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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