Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
