So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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