He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
17 year olds will be the death of me.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
