idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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