Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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