I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
