Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
