make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
