I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize