I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
oh god the rape fog is back!
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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