My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
