I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
