feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize