There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
We need to rekindle our bromance
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
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I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga