Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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