As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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