we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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