oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
