We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
