Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
