Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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