Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
