i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
