i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
