Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
