I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
