This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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