and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
