I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
