he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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