if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i think i have two assholes
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize
