You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
