I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Randomize
