so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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