is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
