I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
