i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
