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• (519): View more from Ontario

  Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  pussy has no personality

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Amen to that

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• (315): View more from New York

  The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.

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  25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous

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• (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle

  (648): View more from

  Since when is drunk an angle?

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Did it finish?

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• (406): View more from Montana

  I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up

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• (952): View more from Minnesota

  I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.

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• (727): View more from Florida

  Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins

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• (276): View more from Virginia

  She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.

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