Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"

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(734): just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies" http://tfl.nu/wh5q

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(317): View more from Indiana

why did u let me go home with him last night?

(260): View more from Indiana

u were determined it was a good idea

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(317): why did u let me go home with him last night? (260): u were determined it was a good idea http://tfl.nu/v9y6

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(315): View more from New York

im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!

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(315): im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone! http://tfl.nu/rzxj

Replies (41) Good night (3265) Bad night (1173)
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(785): View more from Kansas

a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class

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(785): a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class http://tfl.nu/uh5h

Replies (26) Good night (4693) Bad night (1058)
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(614): View more from Ohio

So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.

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(614): So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome. http://tfl.nu/kpah

Replies (18) Good night (6146) Bad night (1233)
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(503): View more from Oregon

do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?

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(503): do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out? http://tfl.nu/q9ps

Replies (37) Good night (8915) Bad night (3233)
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(330): View more from Ohio

I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.

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(330): I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage. http://tfl.nu/ny20

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(912): View more from Georgia

Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.

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(912): Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute. http://tfl.nu/omad

Replies (3) Good night (1317) Bad night (675)
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(315): View more from New York

Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.

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(315): Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina. http://tfl.nu/ovxs

Replies (18) Good night (2440) Bad night (684)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?

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(860): Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress? http://tfl.nu/gpyt

Replies (9) Good night (1777) Bad night (665)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas

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(412): It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas http://tfl.nu/da47

Replies (8) Good night (1119) Bad night (454)
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(818): View more from California

WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD

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(818): WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD http://tfl.nu/zdjc

Replies (10) Good night (1226) Bad night (607)
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(865): View more from Tennessee

My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.

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(865): My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs. http://tfl.nu/mqhq

Replies (3) Good night (414) Bad night (769)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...

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(617): I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song... http://tfl.nu/aol8

Replies (3) Good night (668) Bad night (433)
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(240): View more from Maryland

Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.

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(240): Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water. http://tfl.nu/b3c7

Replies (3) Good night (581) Bad night (454)

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