Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.

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  (248): And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills. http://tfl.nu/4uyj
  Replies (10) Good night (3324) Bad night (1164)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.

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  (847): my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b. http://tfl.nu/5vrv
  Replies (6) Good night (1136) Bad night (3916)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.

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  (931): a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra. http://tfl.nu/ga1u
  Replies (68) Good night (28133) Bad night (1957)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.

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  (440): Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana. http://tfl.nu/g8b3
  Replies (24) Good night (2059) Bad night (6878)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  Hello wreck, this is your train calling.

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  (315): Hello wreck, this is your train calling. http://tfl.nu/qxsk
  Replies (13) Good night (5847) Bad night (1466)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.

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  (678): I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom. http://tfl.nu/95nr
  Replies (18) Good night (2251) Bad night (4187)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.

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  (301): you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off. http://tfl.nu/9btz
  Replies (26) Good night (6488) Bad night (2109)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back

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  (503): well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back http://tfl.nu/ecfc
  Replies (5) Good night (3186) Bad night (1576)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.

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  (716): I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one. http://tfl.nu/p9u2
  Replies (5) Good night (1228) Bad night (4068)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers

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  (412): its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers http://tfl.nu/1asq
  Replies (9) Good night (3166) Bad night (814)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.

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  (714): She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse. http://tfl.nu/v3q7
  Replies (8) Good night (1101) Bad night (2223)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  "Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha

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  (206): "Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha http://tfl.nu/1j7y
  Replies (11) Good night (3164) Bad night (634)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.

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  (804): I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager. http://tfl.nu/fc01
  Replies (2) Good night (1134) Bad night (527)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die

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  (509): If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die http://tfl.nu/9v9m
  Replies (1) Good night (728) Bad night (431)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.

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  (309): My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers. http://tfl.nu/lxb6
  Replies (1) Good night (721) Bad night (318)

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