you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize