oh god the rape fog is back!
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.