Do you still have your period?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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