so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
