Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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