would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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