You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
