eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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