He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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