I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
