He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
All I want is dick and wine.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
