She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
