So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
