Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
