I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
