Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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