some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
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The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
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I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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