So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Randomize
