garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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